I have had enough of this.

I have had enough of this sh!t

I've had it with my mum treating me as a little kid anymore. Always saying cannot cannot without giving me a proper reason. I understand if she does not allow me to keep a dog as big as a lab, but a jack russel? Forever saying its troublesome its troublesome, what thing in this world is not troublesome. Its not as if i do not have the time right now. I spend half the day at home sleeping. And i am not the only person in this house right now. If i am in the army I'll still be back on sat and sun. Anyone of the family could bring the dog out to walk. Around the car park will do. Grandma could treat it as some exercising, shes old and talking walks around could do her good. She keep saying that they raised three dogs in the past and it was very troublesome. The past is the past, its different from the present. In terms of financial status, and in terms of living conditions, it must have been a huge difference in the past.

If they could raise three big dogs in the past i don't see the reason why we cant raise a single small dog at our home. Precisely because my grandma has raised three dogs in the past, she would have experience in taking care of dogs and she could guide me and my sis along the way. Walking the dog i could go have a jog in the morning. I wake up as early as 7 or 8 in the morning only thinking of what can i do next. Life at home is just so sickening. No one is a home at all. If Singapore was not this small i would be running around the place going from one end to another before going back home. Getting real pissed of.

Life as it is now...

Life as it is now...

Life for me now seems so meaningless, like i am drifting around looking for a meaning in my life. Sleeping time has been so weird for me, sleeping now and then in the day but awake for the whole night. Listening to a song atm, there is a line which says, "Dreams are meant for sleeping, and wishes on a star just don't come true." This line is so true, i have lots of stuffs that i hoped happened. But well, dreams are meant for sleeping, and stuffs you wish that happened always do not happen.

Well, to be honest. There is someone in my mind right now. Hopefully those who read my blog are people i can trust and wont go around gossiping or asking me who it is. I wont say it out, now that out of the way. She seems so distant but i do have some good feelings for that particular person. But i doubt i am a person whom she'll accept. Having lots of friends around her, having others who care for her, I'll just be passive and not do anything stupid which may jeopardize the friendship i have with her.

Who would like a person like me anyways? Neither successful in my life, neither good looking. All i have is a N level certificate. Thinking back, i really screwed up my life. Theres no way i can turn back time now, so i am taking things as i go by. Hopefully i will receive my letter for National Service, at least at a place away from my usual hangouts. I may forget stuffs i should forget. If i do not receive the letter by next year, i have decided. I will continue my studies. Which? I still do not know, i have 2 plans in mind. One will be to go back to shatec and study. The other will be to go take private Os, and get into Lassale. Hopefully able to make music as my career. Sounds like a dream right? Well, i can dream cant i? Maybe these will all come true, maybe not. Who knows what the future holds?